Well, since my baby left me, I’ve wanted to travel there.
It’s at the end of a very long street, beside a Hilton Hotel?
He made me feel so lonely, always, so alone. I’d have to travel with a toy.
I asked my friend, Ida, to travel there with me.
She said she’d “met this guy”, (the End of Story reply).
So I made up my mind. To go there alone. To Graceland, Kazakhstan.
And although my purse is roomy, it hasn’t got enough room
for all the ho-made lemonade Granny made me for the trip.
And I’m scared I’ll miss the bus. And then the train.
So then I’d surely miss my flight.
So if you’ve ever been there, tell me what it’s like.
In case all my fears happen, and I do not catch my rides.
Or I lose my tickets. Or my luggage, too.
Has this ever happened to you?
(The town is named after the King of Rock&Roll’s villa.
The Hotel’s the main attraction, everyone there dresses just like Elvis.
So I’ve packed my fake moustache, & sideburns. And my big black wig.
And jumper suit and, blue swede shoes)
Why yes I have! And here’s what I saw there .filmed entirely on location
in Khaszakstan…
and I quote…”When I try to make love to you…and you…and you…and you sir…”
This is reel creative! Most people just slop some paint on the wall,Leroy Neiman style, but this is a Picasso..uh..I mean a Pablocasso..nice work…!
Granny Crabtree: “Yew shuld get the ten points, hunny! And yew menshunned mah ho-made lemonade…buh-lush!!!”
No but Borat did and had a fight there with a ***** fat man but I can’t find a clip of this you must have heard about it, its a killer on the *** reflex like fur ball ack-ack-ack-ack………
I will have a look later in the mean time see what happened when he visited the local University
Have I been to the Heartbreak Hotel in Graceland, Kazakhstan? Yes, I think I did visit there once, but there are so many. Is this the one to which you are referring?
Have I ever been ? madam, I built the damned place. I got the contract through Bodgitt and Scarper, a subsidiary company of Rotter Enterprises Ltd. It covers 2.34 acres and is built entirely of Red Cross boxes and 234,000 baked bean cans. 6 rolls of bodge tape, 300,000 paper clips and a packet of Blue Tac. It is lit by the very latest in high technology paraffin lamps, there is running water in every room, (the roof leaks) The floor is comprised of well trod Yak poo that has been treated with diesel and boot polish (very durable) The food is second to none, well none actually, you have to go foraging in the bush for dinner. A yak and warthog milk pudding is held in great esteem by seasoned travellers. They are well seasoned due to the amount of salt and pepper sprinkled on them on arrival (it keeps the flies away) It is not the best hotel that I have ever built, in fact moving to down town Soweto would be a marked improvement. A few more stars and it could be upgraded to Slum status. as for the Elvis impersonators, have you ever seen Elvis wearing a round rag hat and a Shemag ? it is a sight to behold. Personally I was impressed with the results, I mean, what sort of hotel can one build with a budget of £38.67p.
Oooh- Kazakhstan is a very beautiful country, filled with goats, ****** and hairy men. You’d fit right in, Auntie. I’m sure you would feel right at home.
Just don’t eat the shish kebabs. Promise me, you don’t want to suffer the consequences. Stick to bread and cheese. And don’t accept the drinks either, unless you want the village men to have their way with you. Sip you ho-made lemonade and don’t let it out of your sight. As technologically challenged as they are, they are experts in date **** drugs.
I remember it like it was yesterday ….. I met a lovely lady there ,we wined and dined then danced to the sound of the Chef beating a street urchin in the back ally . I had only turned my back for a minute when she ran off with a wii instructor………never again will I take a lady to the restroom with me !
It is where I first met my sweet Molly Malone she was wheeling a wheelbarrow through streets broad and narrow crying cockles and mussels huhuhuh..
Auntie, it is my birthday today! How would you like some company on your travels? While I **** at making the bus and remembering tickets and things of that nature, my husband* has hired me a small person for the week so he would be along to carry our things and stay sober enough to read the clocks and the such. Unfortunately I learned that little people are not well equipped to offer piggy back rides, but you would be more than ample for that should I need to not walk on account of it being my birthday… I have never been to this hotel but I have heard that there is a goat who impersonates Elvis. Would you mind sharing your lemonade with a friend? I will keep you company if you would like.